I’ve been watching a lot of romantic movies lately. I love crime fiction but I’m a sucker for love. I love seeing people fall in love. I love hearing people’s love stories. Love is just so beautiful to me.
Over the years, I have come to redefine what love means to me. From getting sweets when my parents came home, to my dad brushing my shoes for school the next day, to being taken out to the beach, to spending time time with my highschool bff and my other then close friends. To having someone text you every single day. To fairytale endings in Disney movies.
With all I know now. All I have gotten to experience. All I have gotten to hear and see from the people around me. Love to me now is selflessness. This is because, I realised that’s how I show love and that’s is what love has always been to me. From seeing my parents sacrifices to make me and my brother comfortable. That’s the kind of love I grew up in. That’s the kind of love I expect.
But sadly in this age and era where everyone is so self centered in such a me-first world. It’s difficult for people to find true love. Because true love is not self serving. A wise man gave this analogy that you can find someone eating fish and you’ll ask him/her why are you eating fish and they’ll tell you it because they love fish. You go ahead and ask him/her if they really loved the fish would they take it out of water, let it die then cook it and eat it.
The wise man pointed out how a much of what we call love is fish love. We really just love fish because of how it tastes. Because we love eating it. Same thing with our real life relationships with our parents, friends, partners and maybe classmates or co-workers. We don’t really love them we just love how they make us feel or how we benefit from them. That’s not real love. Love is selfless. The most common Bible verse depicts how love is so selfless “For God so loved yhr world that he gave his only begotten son. That who ever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” God is selfless. Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians on chapter 13 verse 4-8 he talked about what and how love is.
This cheating culture that is being normalized is not okay. Hey ladies, just because he says you are his main doesn’t mean he loves you. If he actually loved you he wouldn’t disrespect you like that and vice versa. Some of y’all are out here making your partner look like clowns and claim you love them. No that’s being selfish, you just can’t stand to lose them or see them with someone else because you love the idea of having them around. Maybe they take good care of you or cater to your emotional needs.
Selflessness all applies to self love. You need to be willing enough to sacrifice you toxic traits and negative habits for your own self improvement. You need to starve your poor choices and put your energy into things that actually benefit you.
I’d like for all of us to take some time and reflect on what kind of love you feel you are getting from the people around you and most importantly what kind of love you are giving. Is it true love or fish love.
Don’t allow yourself to be in emotionally and physically abusive relationship s just because you’ve convinced that somehow that’s what love is. Revise what love is to you. Don’t love for the wrong reasons try and be intentional with where you invest your emotional energy. Go where you are wanted. Go where you feel you can wholly love and receive that entirety of love right back.
Love is such a beautiful thing. Don’t let this world make you lose sight of that. Love yourself, love your life, take care of yourself, true love seeks genuineness it will come to you. ❤️
Hope you enjoyed the read. Leave a comment on what love means to you.
My previous blog on love:http://selfspace.co.ke/?p=385