I feel empty,
No I don’t need someone to fill me up,
Don’t get me wrong,
Empty not lonely,
It’s a certain deepness inside of me,
I don’t have the right words to explain it.
A certain feeling of longing,
Longing for purpose,
Longing for reason,
Longing for structure.
It’s so hardwired in me,
I feel empty without it,
I long for wholesomeness.
But then again, is this purpose what will fill me,
I’m I sure it’s exactly what I need,
The frantic search for answers,
The ever ticking time.
I forget the denominator of who I want to be and who I am is me,
The wait is excruciatingly painful, exhausting,
I want it now,
But we can’t all have what we want,
Of course it can’t be that easy.
But I feel stuck,
I feel unsure,
What if it doesn’t work,
What if I never get there,
What if I can’t handle it.
What will fill my cup up?