I FEEL EMPTY

I feel empty,

No I don’t need someone to fill me up,

Don’t get me wrong,

Empty not lonely,

It’s a certain deepness inside of me,

I don’t have the right words to explain it.

 

A certain feeling of longing,

Longing for purpose,

Longing for reason,

Longing for structure.

 

It’s so hardwired in me,

I feel empty without it,

I long for wholesomeness.

 

But then again, is this purpose what will fill me,

I’m I sure it’s exactly what I need,

The confusion,

The questions,

The frantic search for answers,

The ever ticking time.

 

I forget the denominator of who I want to be and who I am is me,

The wait is excruciatingly painful, exhausting,

I want it now,

But we can’t all have what we want,

Of course it can’t be that easy.

 

But I feel stuck,

I feel unsure,

What if it doesn’t work,

What if I never get there,

What if I can’t handle it.

 

What will fill my cup up?

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