How often do you call out other people for being toxic? How often do you “cut off” people because they are toxic? Are you usually in constant drama? Are people constantly talking about you and it’s not because you have accomplished something admirable? Do you feel like everyone dislikes you?
Maybe you are the toxic one. Hey, hear me out before you come at me.
Toxic is not a medical diagnosis. It mainly based on one’s mannerisms that develop into habits. For example people who are narcissistic.
Often time we tend to notice other people’s flaws quicker than we do our own. It is our nature. We are not used to questioning our behaviors and habits. We feel like everyone else should adjust to our own preferences. We feel as if others are obligated to make our environment comfortable for us. We are so entitled. We feel people should go out of their way to make us feel okay. I’m guilty of this. I know most of us are. If you are being honest with yourself.
We get so selfish and only think about what is good for us without really considering others. What follows is you push everyone away because they are not doing what you would like them to do and you end up alone.
Don’t get me wrong, of course we have those things that we wouldn’t accept at any cost. I’m not saying don’t protect your energy I’m saying be considerate. I’m saying talk these things out with the people you are in a relationship with ; your family, friend, co-workers, partners.
“We get so selfish and only think about what is good for us without really considering others. What follows is you push everyone away because they are not doing what you would like them to do and you end up alone”
I’m saying learn your own habits and behaviors and see how you affect others. Ask your closest people what kind of mannerisms do you have that equally pisses them off. No one is perfect. As much as you feel offended they feel offended too. Do not get defensive if someone told you something about yourself that they don’t really like. Do not dismiss them and think they are being too sensitive.
If there is something I’ve learnt the past weeks is the power of reconciliation is way greater than the concept of cutting people off. Again don’t come at me let me explain. Being adults and talking about issues is way better than ghosting . Of course there are situations that some people are beyond help or the other part just doesn’t want to accept and change. At that point leave and move on. If both parties acknowledge the problem and agree to work towards it. You don’t just get your friend , partner or family back. You get stronger relationships . You create more meaningful relationships . You create trust circles that you know you can fall back on.
So before you point out how toxic someone, have you had a sit down with them and talked over what you feel. Especially if they are lived ones. Before you start ranting about how people don’t like you, have you had a sit down with yourself and see if you are genuinely a nice person.
Remember what you put out to the universe is what comes right back at you.
What if after having that sit-down they don’t change and you go back to square one…
Let discuss that on the next post:)
Thank you for reading loves.